My Trip Back Home To Cincinnati is Complete

December 16, 2025

For at least now it has. What was expected to be only a few days back home turned into five weeks. Sometimes wonderful, much of the time it was excruciatingly painful.

What was originally planned as a pilgrimage to honor a friends passing quickly morphed into a parents hospice vigil. What was supposed to be a connection to my mom, evolved into becoming an advocate for her safety with evidence of neglect, incompetence and elder abuse.

With the amazing help of Hospice, I was able to make necessary steps in protecting my mom while she transitioned to death. It was an awful task, many would consider thankless, but I had to ensure her safety with reports of multiple falls, lack of basic requirements like food, water and medicine. Hospice helped fill on the gaps. They helped me see this process through with my mom with grace and empathy. I thank them for this.

I spent many days alone on this journey. I told my wife that I was extremely anxious about being able to step up as a son and perform the duties needed to care for my mother. She reassured me that when the time came, I’d rise to the occasion and I did. It was very difficult in the beginning because no one wants to see their mom suffer. I knew her prognosis and it was killing me to witness her decline but I pushed all of that deep down inside me and focused on the tasks at hand. It all became second nature to me.

Now those feelings are starting to come out and it hurts. Very bad right now.  Whenever I left her room, I’d go to the car to release the pain I was feeling and started driving. A lot. I’d spend hours driving around Cincinnati. To old haunts, witnessing the changes that were taking place. Some I considered good, some not so good. Eminent domain dismantling the Clifton area I enjoyed for years so UC could command more presence in the community. It wasn’t a pleasant sight.

I needed places to unwind. Have a drink, sometimes too many drinks. I didn’t have my wife with me to help keep me balanced and found myself going off the rails, not eating well, downing anything put in front of me. I was a fucking mess. I fortunately made it out alive and didn’t kill anyone, or myself thank God.

I did run into some wonderful and caring folks at multiple places I frequented to blow off steam. The first place I ventured into was The City View Tavern in Mt.Adams. lauded as one of the oldest bars in Cincinnati, it probably has the best view of any place I’ve been to.  It’s a no billshit bar. No martinis, no margaritas, it’s a beer and shot joint that has great burgers and a decent tap list. Cassidy was the bartender who I got to know and she became familiar with my mom’s situation, like most places eventually did and was extremely gracious with me every time I came in.

During my drives, I’d also try to do things that didn’t require pounding drinks and absolutely loved Eden Park. It helped me reflect on great times I had as a kid in Cincinnati.  This included the Krohn Conservatory.

One of my favorite spots is the Northside Yacht Club. A cool hip eatery off of Spring Grove ave that has excellent pub food and a great beer list.

I ended up in Camp Washington.  This was my first neighborhood I moved to when I decided to live on my own at nineteen.  It’s a great concrete jungle where our backyards wall was the old Cincinnati workhouse.  This also required an obligatory trip to Camp Washington Chili.

Another must visit was our old home as a toddler on Walker St. in Mt. Auburn. I had many fond memories as a little kid living there.

One Tavern I frequented was The Oak Tavern in Oakley. Everyone there knew my situation and I have to say, they were some of the nicest people I’ve ever met.  This was pure Cincinnati love. Their food rocked as well.

Chili, it’s what’s for dinner! Including Skyline in Clifton. Nothing beats a hangover more than a five way and cheese coneys.

My friend Scot treated me to a few beers at Madtree in Oakley for my birthday. For a huge place, it ran like a well oiled machine and the beers were excellent.

My wife insisted on a return to Korean Riverside in Covington.  I reluctantly agreed and Holy Jeebus, I forgot how wonderful that place is!!

Another amazing place my friend Scot mentioned was Bridges Nepalese cuisine in Northside.  I’ve never tried this type of food before and it’s similar to a cross between Indian and Chinese food. It blew our minds.

I spent many nights at The Comet. I had to. It was a Northside institution, Dave was my friend and I loved that place. I got to see many old friends during my visit.

One of the last places we lived at was Covington Ky. I love that town. Our street had all historical homes on it including the house we rented. We’d love to live there again. Beautiful. 

My family was amazingly supportive of my efforts. My Aunt Sue and Uncle Neal made my stay comfortable and I felt secure. Her dogs were wonderful. Willy, Archie and the great Mango. Neals dog Luna is amazing too.  Oh, Sue is a great cook as well. Her mac-n-cheese is killer.

It’s all starting to come to the reality my mom is gone. My work has been done and there is now a huge void where my mom once was. I feel like an orphan. My brother has basically abandoned his family as well as his friends so it hurts even more how isolated I feel. If it weren’t for family and friends and their undying support and love, I’m not sure if would have made it through this. I miss my mom dearly. I think she’s looking over me though. When I turned on Pandora this morning, this was the first song on my list. I didn’t choose it. It chose me.

Posted by Chef Kevin Kroger
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When You Lose Your Mother…

December 4, 2025

I prepared for months now. My family prepared. We had a mountain of obstacles facing us starting with my mothers health after an unfortunate bout with pneumonia which also was associated with congestive heart failure and kidney disease. Her mortality was staring me in the face yet I was completely unprepared for when she finally passed. But I’m doing ok I guess. It’s been devastating.

My mom was eighty one years old. For the last few years, we lost contact but for the obligatory birthday or mother’s day wishes but over and over again, one of us circled back around and we mended things because we both knew it was important to stay connected. Unfortunately my brother never got the memo. That’s his cross to bear. We’ve all moved on.

My mom could be a difficult woman to be around. Hypochondia, bipolar disorder and other afflictions interfered with daily relationships in which some survived, some didn’t.  She lived her life by her own rules. I get it, but it was still difficult.

We fought a lot, but we always made up. We actually had a great relationship and I’m sorry for the recent years lost because of our suffocating pride.  I was glad we reconnected and were able to have meaningful conversations before she started to decline. Even in some of her worst states, she was still able to conjure up some self deprecating humor by blurting out “I guess I’m just an entitled bitch aren’t I?”

Even dying she had an ability to get a chuckle out of me. Despite all of her foilables, she cared about her kids until her bipolar disorder took over. She struggled with this for decades. My folks were heavily involved in our sports, the high school band, making sure we had a good education, taking us on vacations and even financially supporting us in our twenties.

We, on the other hand were pretty shitty kids growing up. We stole from them, drove their cars drunk, trashed their house with huge parties when they were out of town. Hell, I even dressed in my dad’s police uniform during Halloween in which I got arrested. Despite that, my mother sent me money for rent, helped my brother with rent while we were both old enough to know better. They weren’t rich but they loved their kids. And they tried their best.

My mother and her family weren’t rich either. They all had struggles during their own formative years but everyone made it out one way or another. My mom owed me nothing when we reconciled. I actually owed her an apology for how awful I was at times.

I chose to be with her for her end of life struggles because that’s what son’s do. There is nothing either one of my parents did that kept me from seeing this through with her. I’d never forgive myself not being home with her during this awful time. Up to her last breath she knew I was with her and she held on till I showed up yesterday. It was the worst day of my life.

I wouldn’t have been able to get through this without the support of my family and friends. Aunt Sue, Uncle Neal, my Cousin Patrick who helped sit vigil with her, my Aunt Toni and the amazing people at Hospice. Even with everything facing us with a broken facility system, we made it work for mom. And she knew it.

It’s the day after my mom’s passing. I’m gutted. I was worried about not getting up quickly enough to go visit her today then realizing there are no more visits. That’s heart breaking. There’s a certain feeling of protection with knowing your parents are still living, even if they are older. That feeling of security has vanished. I feel extremely vulnerable right now. Everyone is reeling now but we will get through this. We will.

Her name was Marilyn and she was my mom. I don’t have many pics of her but when I find more I’ll post them.

Posted by Chef Kevin Kroger
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What a Weird Month

September 19, 2025

I was reflecting today on the anniversary of my dad’s death. It’s been fourteen years already. It reminds me of the Green Day song “Wake Me Up When September Ends.”

Truer words couldn’t have spoken. It’s been a pretty shitty start to the month. Remembering my dad, who I miss terribly. A battery of cardiac tests that I had to have done because of noticeable arrhythmia. A family member struggling mentally and emotionally and the endless search for employment in an ageist hamlet of only eight thousand people. The struggle has been real.

I even tried my hand at being an apprentice at a print shop. It turns out I am NOT a sponge for verbal abuse after all and to be perfectly honest, that industry bored the fuck out of me. I actually don’t give two shits about paper thickness or what laminaters do. What I really wanted was cook.

It took me a hard minute to understand that. I was getting up in years as a chef, and everything hurt  when I moved and I thought I was done with it all.

Then, add the new paradigm of ghosting applicants, and I was like fuck it! I’m finished!

Then my wife started tossing Craigslist ads in my direction. They weren’t chef jobs in the classic sense. They were small, part-time gigs where I could still be active in the culinary scene, but the daily grind of running kitchens was completely absent.

She sent me a listing for a small boutique winery in Stockton, New Jersey. They were seeking part-time kitchen help. It was just a couple of days a week prepping and assembling charcuterie and meddiranean boards for folks to enjoy while wine tasting.

I thought, why not? I can go in, make some extra cash, keep it simple, and it would be a great way to get my ass off the couch, so I sent in my resume. 

The owner of the winery called and we had a quick chat to introduce ourselves. I planned on taking a quick trip to the winery to see the set up and meet her on person. 

The winery was beautiful, well kept, and they spared no expense. I was directed towards the kitchen where the owner was prepping for a upcoming party. 

What I saw blew my mind. An entire, brand new kitchen, all new appliances like I’ve not experienced in decades. They are on hold to fire everything up until a commercial grease trap is installed. The owner made is crystal clear that she thought I was overqualified but as a chef of thirty five years, who has opened four restaurants in San Francisco, I immediately thought of the potential to evolve her menu into something significant.

She seemed extremely excited to hear some of my ideas, and even though I’m just tossing together a few items in the beginning, I’m positive I’ll be able to assist them in developing a great menu that will set them apart from all the other wineries.

September started out like doing the back stroke through the waters of hell, but all my cardiac tests came back negative. My heart condition actually improved in the last five years, and I just landed a job while having great thoughts about my dad. Today has been a great day.

Posted by Chef Kevin Kroger
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A Pandemic Threnody

June 24, 2021

As I sit here with pen in hand pondering what my next chapter in my life would entail, I was also ruminating about what I would use as a title for my next blog entry. I would not necessarily call it an ode to the dead, but rather a requiem of my life during the last fifteen months of this still ongoing Pandemic. The last year has not boded well with this old chef. I am sure this rings true with many of my friends and family.

Everything we knew about our lives and how we lived them was radically changed and we are all still reeling from the collateral damage this insidious disease has done to us as human beings. We’ve lost friends and family. I lost an Aunt to Covid-19. From my own personal confessional, I for one stopped living. I wasn’t working, I found a permanent home on the couch, arms reach from bad food and lots of booze and way too much time on my hands. The results were anxiety, health problems, and a complete lack of forwarding movement in productivity. Since getting the vaccine, I’m trying to change all of this.

I’ve been given a unique opportunity to spend some time in Cincinnati with friends and family for the Summer. This in itself has created some anxious moments. I haven’t been back to Ohio in almost four years and am taking this journey sans my amazing wife Judy. We’ve been together for almost twenty-five years. This isn’t the first time I’ve gone away to attempt to right my ship. It’s the third time but Judy has been nothing but supportive and it strengthens our relationship which I am forever grateful.

I’m not sure what I am hoping to accomplish being back home. Part of this journey is to reconnect with family and friends. The thought of being alone growing old terrifies me. I’ve seen what it does to people first hand. We are social beings. We need a connection. I have been in a converted garage for almost a year and a half and honestly, my cat is a lousy conversationalist. I intend on changing this.

Another goal is to start seeing the positive things out of life. The last four years have done nothing but encourage my cynical side which doesn’t need much fostering. Waking up every morning and reading the news did nothing but raise my cortisol levels as well as my blood pressure. I’m in a much better space now.

As a once busy chef in Pennsylvania, because of our schedules and home life situation with my mother-in-law, we ate out. Frequently. On a typical week, we’d have dinner at our local haunts consistently three to four nights a week. When the Pandemic hit, that all changed. As I mentioned in my previous post, my wife Judy became an excellent cook. Her imagination shined through with every dish she created. When we were finally able to dine out, the disappointment of our dinner including the cost versus what we enjoyed at home for the fraction of the cost was like a kick in the head. Hey, I still love to eat out and love being connected to my industry folks but I don’t think we will return to the same habits that were familiar to us pre-Covid-19.

Coming back to Cincinnati was an adjustment. Not only demographically have things changed, so has the dining scene. And for the better. I’ve been fortunate to experience some great eateries here in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. It was pretty difficult to find places I wanted to eat because there are so many choices but thanks to industry friends, we’ve been able to enjoy some great places.

The search for breakfast restaurants in Cincinnati is hit or miss. Either greasy spoons or corporate cookie cutters like First Watch. I’ve worked in really upscale breakfast/brunch establishments. I know how to recognize good ingredients in menu descriptions. We decided on a breakfast spot in Oakley called The Sleepy Bee. https://www.sleepybeecafe.com/#locations

The place was open-air with high ceilings. It was reminiscent of the Portland breakfast houses we enjoyed. Lots of young kids who seemed to sincerely enjoy their jobs. A well-rounded “scratch” menu. They made their own bread and even served house-made Goetta. For the non-Cincinnati folks, Goetta is a German breakfast meat that is made from Pork, spices, and Pin Oats. We have a similar concoction in Pennsylvania called Scrapple which is a Pennsylvania-Dutch breakfast meat that uses Corn Meal versus Pin Oats. Not everyone enjoys it but damn, this was good. My wife had the Avocado toast topped with Granola and herbed oil and I had a Chorizo scramble. Both dishes were excellent. The coffee was amazing too. The service was top-notch. There is nothing remotely this good where we live.

The next restaurant that was suggested was Bouquet in Mainstrasse in Covington Kentucky. https://www.bouquetrestaurant.com/

It is a farm-to-table establishment that has been in business for over fourteen years. It opened about a year after we moved back to San Francisco. The menu changes daily and they source most of the product from local vendors. I have to say this was one of the best meals we’ve had in years. We decided on the tasting menu which allows you to choose three courses. We started with the savory ramp pancake with sesame seeds, soy ramp & sorghum sauce, and a roasted radish and seared tofu appetizer. Both were cooked perfectly.

For the second course, I had Wagyu beef meatballs Scallion Gremolata, Lemon Caper purée, and Chili oil. The acid from the Lemon Caper puree was a perfect complement to the meatballs. The thought of actually sharing this with my wife almost made me go into a homicidal rage! Yeah, they were that good! But I acquiesced. She loved them damn it! My wife had the Salmon with German hot slaw, Bacon, Sunchokes, and Horseradish. It was cooked perfectly mid-rare. It is had to find places that know how to cook Salmon correctly. Most of the time it is cooked to death and dry. We had a similar dish at home in PA that was so overcooked, it made baby Jesus cry rivers of blood. It was that bad, but this was moist and flavorful.

For the third course, I had the Duck Breast with Fava Bean puree, Fiddlehead Ferns, and root vegetables. The only other chef that could ever cook Duck this well was David Cook of the former Daveed’s. Perfectly seasoned, moist and the skin was crackly and crisp. Stunning. My wife had seared Boga I believe, which is an Argentinian white fish with English Peas and root vegetables and a sauce that resembled Chimichurri. It was moist and flaky. Just like her husband.

We ended the meal with a Cardamom Blueberry pound cake paired with a Sauternes.

The service was professional and courteous. It is a special occasion restaurant but it’s worth the splurge.

The next destination on our short culinary tour before my wife headed back to Pennsylvania was Otto’s in Mainstrasse which again is in Convington Kentucky. https://ottosonmain.com/

This is a cool and funky joint that’s been around for years. They provide both inside and outside dining. Outside can be a bit hectic with seating right on the pedestrian sidewalk adjacent to the street and can be loud at times. We had a good light brunch. My wife had the Brie, Figs, shaved country Ham, Arugula, and Local Honey. Cooked perfectly and well-balanced. We shared the Brussels Sprouts which were prepared with Bacon and Brown Sugar. I enjoyed the dish but adding a little heat like Sriracha would have given the dish more depth. Our dining guests and I decided on the BLFGT which was Bacon, Lettuce, fried Egg, white Cheddar, Mayo & fried Green Tomato on a toasted Croissant. It was light and flaky and not heavy or greasy. A very solid sandwich. The service was prompt and friendly.

Though I didn’t eat at our final stop, we did enjoy a beautiful evening with family on the rooftop of The Gaslight Bar and Grill in Clifton where my friend Kevin Worthington is the Chef/GM. https://gaslightbarandgrillclifton.com/

My Uncle and his wife did have dinner which was a simple grilled burger. I liked the plate composition and both of them enjoyed their meals. He has a great staff and we felt taken care of.

When I need to clear my head, keep that feeling of isolation at arms reach, and being around others, I head to Sitwell’s Coffee House in Clifton. Though they don’t have a website, they do have a Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/sitwells.coffeehouse/

It’s a funky coffee shop that used to be a pizza restaurant many years ago. Quirky décor, fun and helpful staff, and the coffee is good. I haven’t had a chance to try their food menu yet but what I saw coming out of the kitchen looks very appetizing.

These last two weeks have been an adjustment. I haven’t been without my wife at my side for more than a day in almost ten years. I miss her dearly but she also knows this Pandemic has done a real number on me and wants me to heal. She wants her husband back home whole and not fractured and frustrated. I’m trying hard to do that work and reconnect with family and friends. This blog has been cathartic. I want to continue to write and enjoy what I’ve been doing for over thirty-five years. Welcome back.

Posted by Chef Kevin Kroger
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Quarentine Musings. My Wife is an Amazing Cook

May 18, 2020

The pandemic over the last two months has been a life altering experience. Being laid off then going straight into an extended lock down has not only tested my mental resolve, but how I handle living in a three hundred and fifty square foot converted garage with my wife, cat and caring for her eighty eight year old mother in the other section of the house. We’ve painstakingly ensured that we are sanitizing, cleaning and disinfecting everything to protect her mother from this virus. It’s been rough at times. It’s been frustrating. It’s also revealed things that were passively overlooked.

I’ve been a chef for over twenty five years. I’ve been cooking since I was fifteen years old. This is one of those professions that can be considered a vocation. Who else would subject ones body to twelve hour work days, sometimes weeks in a row without a day off, in an environment where you could easily cut, burn or sear essential body parts if there wasn’t a higher calling to do so? I’ve had to give this up for months now. But it’s also given me time to reflect on my career, my life, relationship with my wife and where we live.

One byproduct of our living arrangement is that I haven’t gained access to her mothers kitchen. I may have prepared meals for them twice in almost four years. She is very particular about who uses her kitchen, so I have stayed away. The result of her mother’s proclivities was that we ended up eating out. A lot. This all came screeching to a halt in March because of Covid-19. We were left with a dilemma. How to meal plan with three people, one who had a palette that was trapped in 1955? Here is where my wife’s visionary talents really shined.

Living in rural Pennsylvania, you still have businesses that haven’t been gobbled up by big box corporate outlets. You can still find local grocers, butchers and farms that offer local product not found in places like Costco or Whole Foods. She meal planned for the next month. I had no idea what was in store.

She was given fresh Spring Ramps which she converted into a Pesto. She pickled the rest. The flavors were sublime. I’ve pickled professionally and only gave her minimal input on vinegar, but her sensibility to herbs, spices and supporting flavor ingredients blew my mind. Complex, not overpowering and subtle. I was floored.

She prepared oven roasted local pork chops with a homemade Apple compote that I would have served in one of my restaurants. Homemade quiche, hand formed flat breads with fresh local Asparagus, Ricotta and that amazing Ramp Pesto. Holy shit I thought! She could make a bologna sandwich sumptuous.

She came up with a Thai Chicken soup with fresh Ginger and Galangal root that rivaled any soup that we’ve ever had at a Thai restaurant. The balance of flavors, her attention to seasoning. She always had this in her. I just needed to get out of the way. Gladly. She also was able to prepare meals that her mother enjoyed as well. Nothing fancy, nothing really special but to her mom’s credit, she did try the Ramp Pesto flat bread and loved it!

The quarantine has also given her the ability to plant. Fresh Lettuces, Tomatoes, Jalapenos and fresh herbs. This is where I was getting excited. I worked with local organic farmers in California for years. I might have to push my way into the kitchen when these start to become available.

I’m not saying I don’t miss cooking in a home setting. I really do. There is a certain bonding we had when we both prepared our meals together and I miss that. It’s been a long time and I want that connection again. I do not believe we would have grown as a family if these challenges were not put in front of us. I believe it’s made us stronger. I do not think there will be a “normal” again. The world is a different place than it was a few months ago. In the meantime, I am more than happy to enjoy any creations my wife comes up with. She is an amazing cook.

Posted by Chef Kevin Kroger
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