This Cracker Hated The Barrel!
November 6, 2025
There’s this old adage that has forever rang true to me. “First time, shame on you, second time, shame on me.”
Enter Cracker Barrel. This is one of those shame on me moments. I’m currently seeing my mom, who is in hospice, which in itself is painful enough, but then you add an excruciating trip through the culinary gates of hell called Cracker Barrel, I believe I must have committed some mortal sin that carved a path to what they consider a foyer.
If every exploited nation that produced useless Tchotchkes were to take a gigantic dump at the same time, all of these consumer feces would have landed smack dab in the lobby of The Barrel.
The lobby was a horrid labyrinth of isles chock full of shit no one needs, a cacophony of keyboards playing music that would make baby Jesus ears bleed rivers of blood and a tsunami of olfactory aromas where you could literally smell fried food and sandlewood at the same time.
Just trying to navigate our way to put our name in for a seat triggered my afib. I’ve seen Japanese subway cram videos that were less claustrophobic than a Cracker Barrel lobby. My head was spinning.
The entire seating procedures were culled straight from a Six Flags business model. Replete with a PA system, we heard our name unfortunately called, which blasted out from a speaker and proceeded to navigate past a horde of ravenous groups of people that should have sworn off this establishment years ago.
The noise level was deafening with screaming kids, food chomping parents, and staff that had to yell over everyone to just do their jobs. It was like being in a wind tunnel.
Speaking of the staff. I genuinely felt for them. Dealing with people that treated them like paid slaves, unruly kids, and huge groups of people wanting everything immediately, every one of them had the appearance of someone that had every ounce of their soul drained from bodies. I actually felt guilty ordering, but we needed to see this through.
I ordered the fried chicken, and my wife ordered over easy eggs with pancakes, and our friend ordered biscuits and gravy.
It’s painfully obvious these places only goal is to stuff asses into seats but as a chef, what I saw coming out of the kitchen resembled every short cut you could take to handle the greed they displayed by over seating this place.
Every item we had besides my wife’s eggs was pre made and then reheated. Reheated pancakes, my chicken was luke warm, and the sides were all slop and serve.
My friends biscuit gravy was so gelatinous that her spoon stood straight up in the serving cup. I looked at her and said, “Are they mad at you? We finally took our last edible bites and begged for the check. Another bizarre moment is when you have to pay. You are once again forced to endure their hellish gift shop to line up in front of a row of kiosks to pay for your “meal.”
It would be easy enough to just pay and leave but the staff is required under penalty of the business end of a cattle prod to bombard you with merchandise questions about if you want to buy any of their garbage on their shelves. My wife almost lost her shit on that poor soul taking our money, but to her credit, she kept her composure as we sprinted to our car.
Yeah, lets not boycott Cracker Barrel for their shameless peddling of foreign produced garbage, the glaring culinary sins committed, or their obvious seating missteps but instead lets boycott them because they changed their fucking logo. We are so cooked as a country, I swear to God. In the fifteen years of contributing to this blog, I’ve never written a negative review about food, but this shame on me experience warranted it. Full fucking stop. Never, ever again
The Only Tavern We Support
September 7, 2025
I realize Bucks County has a ways to go to achieve what other areas of the country have gained culinary. It’s rural, sparsely populated, and isn’t pushing envelopes we’ve been used to.
I get it. If you are going to serve food that pleases the common working man, you have to do it right. It has to be consistent, and above all, it has to taste good.
In the last couple of years, we’ve been loyal patrons at The Gardenville Hotel. A historic mid seventeenth century former hotel. With ties to the Revolutionary War, it is a wonderful tavern that serves really good American fare.
We only just recently started going there. One reason is I was already a chef at a Doylestown Tavern call The Farmhouse. We really had no reason to venture out to any other taverns because my wife loved my cooking, and I became acquainted with many regulars who were an integral part of my social life. Plus, other taverns in the area couldn’t touch our quality of the food.
After leaving The Farmhouse in 2023, we struggled to find a decent place for a burger or wings. We lived just down the hill from Gardenville and thought of the place as a drinking establishment vs. a full service restaurant.
One afternoon, we decided on drinks at Gardenville and wandered in. The bar was funky and old. Deer heads all over the walls, various pictures on the walls, many showcasing the owner’s fishing jaunts, and we immediately felt at home.
The servers, who have been there years, provide some of the friendliest and attentive service we’ve ever experienced.
Since we now go at least twice a week, they anticipate our needs immediately. It’s a rarity to find places like this in our area. Most of the Taverns just don’t care enough to go the extra mile. This place blows most local Taverns away.
We highly suggest their wings, the burgers are excellent as well as amazing fish and chips and turkey anything. It isn’t cheap, but nothing really is post pandemic. We only sit at the tables in the bar. That’s where the fun really is. The dining room is More suited for families and older folks. We like the buzz the bar provides.
The Gardenville Burger
Bro Can Cook!
July 24, 2021
I’m currently staying at my brother’s house for a week-long visit. We are pretty simple folks. Nothing has to be too fancy and we look at food pretty straightforward. Today, he decided to ramp up his breakfast game and the result was pretty damn good. I’ve worked in upscale brunch places on and off for several years. His creation, though simple would be an excellent grab-and-go item for the busy commuter in the morning.
He made from delicious bacon, sausage, and cheese biscuit cups. He proceeded to make scrambled eggs, sausage that was chopped, and then rolled out biscuit dough with a little bit of flour and places the biscuit dough in a muffin pan, then spoon in the mixed egg and sausage mixture then top with shredded cheddar cheese. After about ten minutes, VOILA! Breakfast is served. Add some fresh fruit and it was a great filling meal! Nice job JP!!!
Fish! It’s What’s For Dinner!
July 24, 2021
As I resurrected my blog after an extended time in limbo, I didn’t think that I would be focused on cuisine that spans from South America to Spain. I’ve always enjoyed the flavor combinations that are derived from fresh ingredients and the spices that make this food patently unique. I picked up some Red Snapper at a local grocery and some simple vegetables. It was to be a quick meal to keep things lite since my diet has been all over the board recently.
I managed to find purple potatoes, which are also called Peruvian purple potatoes. They have the same texture and taste as red bliss potatoes but are bright purple. The colors tend to fade when boiled but still have a nice colorful hue. They are different than the purple Okinawan sweet potatoes which I cannot seem to find anywhere but these worked perfectly for the dish.
The aim was to make a simple has combining fresh-cut corn, potatoes, red onion, , chives and some smoked apple wood seasoning. The combinations were great. Sweet corn flavors with a hint of smoke and some heat.
I used a blackening seasoning for the snapper and seared the fish in a cast-iron skillet. I then decided on a smoked Romesco sauce. It’s a simple Spanish condiment used on various proteins such as fish, chicken, or beef. It’s a combination of roasted peppers, tomato, garlic, chili flakes, red wine vinegar, and in this case I used smoked almonds instead of regular sliced almonds. The result was a deliciously tangy and complex sauce that worked very well with the fish.
Pork! The Other White…Oh Let’s Just Do This!
July 4, 2021
In my attempt to find fun ingredients to prepare, I discovered a small grocery store in Hartwell called Country Fresh Market. They offer a variety of dry goods, meats, prepared foods, and a killer beer and wine department. The prices are competitive as well. I managed to get my hands on some beautiful Spring Onions.
I also picked up Pork Loin, Honeycrisp Apples, and other various items that will help compel me to cook versus eating at chain food outlets.
It’s a fairly straightforward dish. I roasted the Spring Onions and Apples with Olive Oil, Salt, and Pepper. I pan-seared the Pork Loin and roasted it with fresh sage. I made a simple Mushroom Couscous and then prepared a Balsamic Pan Gravy which was Beef Broth, Balsamic Reduction, and cracked Black Pepper. I reduced it to a glaze.
I let the Pork Loin repose, sliced half, and then kept the other half whole to give a contrast in texture. The result was a great, balanced meal. The whole process took me about a half-hour. No, there were no leftovers….
Bon Appetit!
The Joy of Cooking Again!
July 1, 2021
When one is met with peculiar family dynamics that have not been encountered before, there are two paths to take, especially when there is potential for conflict. One option is to stand your ground, watch the cortisol levels rise like Mount Vesuvius, and in the end, never accomplish the result you were trying to achieve. The other option is to simply resign to the fact that this is life as we know it for the time being, so just sit back and try to enjoy the roller coaster ride.
I’ve been in this situation for five years with limited access to a home kitchen. My wonderful wife has taken on the arduous task of cooking for three people daily. It keeps everyone fed and the conflicts are minimalized. I for one, love what my wife prepares. She’s a great cook.
This current respite I’m enjoying has allowed me to cook again. Not in a professional kitchen where one can hear this old chef’s bones crack like stepping on celery with every bend, stoop and pivot, but at a home setting where the wine flows like a waterfall and the setting is calm, peaceful and creative.
My friend of almost forty years Chris Mundy came over for a nice, simple dinner collaboration. He in his own right, is an elevated cook with a great palette, a keen sense of creativity who isn’t afraid to push the culinary boundaries that would make most of our family members wince at the very mention of “Chimichurri.”
He was going to his family’s cabin in Michigan and we both had ingredients we wanted to cook that wouldn’t last the week he was in Michigan so we decided on a pot luck dinner. The result was pretty spectacular.
I’ve adjusted my expectations on where to shop while I’ve been back. I haven’t had the opportunity to make the trek to the infamous Jungle Jim’s where you can procure everything from Rattlesnake to a hot sauce that would give the Sun a run for its money. So, until then, I have been relegated to the big box corporate grocery stores that I also encounter where I live. To say the least, the choices were grim.
It makes sense to stock their shelves with items that the residents of that area would purchase. I get it. I was hoping for something a tad more exotic than Strip Loin Steaks. Perhaps even frozen Duck Breast would suffice? Unfortunately, Strip Loin was the only choice.
I purchased some Applewood Smoked dry rub for the steak. I roasted some fresh Cauliflower, Crimini Mushrooms, and Radish with fresh herbs and olive oil. We combined these with fresh Blue Lake Green Beans. I decided on butter basting the steak with fresh herbs and garlic. I love grilling steaks but butter basting creates a rich, yet artery clogging euphoria that grilling seems to miss.
I let the steak repose and sliced it thin and placed it over the vegetable melange and topped it with Chris’s homemade Chimichurri Sauce which is like an Argentinian pesto, made with parsley, oregano, garlic, chili flakes, vinegar, and olive oil. It is used as a condiment on anything from eggs to vegetables. His version was excellent.
We added a Garbanzo Bean salad and we both shared wine. It was an excellent collaboration. It felt good to cook again. I’m hoping to keep this trend up during my stay.
Next stop. Jungle Jim’s. Just don’t tell my wife.
Various Dishes I’ve Created Over the Years
November 8, 2015
I’ve been fortunate enough to be exposed to great farms and ranchers over the last few years. I’ve also been fortunate enough to have an outlet to utilize these great products they provide and create dishes that I’m proud of. I’ve always wanted to open my own restaurant. Even created a business plan and had a modest savings for this venture. Learning about the in’s and out’s of creating a small business has its challenges. Mainly capital to keep the venture afloat. We are still in hopes that this dream of ours will come to fruition. We’ve been in the industry for over 20 years and would eventually like to be our own bosses. Hopefully this will happen but in the meantime I wanted to share some of the dishes I’ve created over the last three or so years. -Chef Kevin
Dungeness crab salad over grilled pineapple, organic cherry tomatoes, sprouts and avocado purée
Roasted cauliflower, sunchoke and frisee salad
Chocolate chip bread pudding in cast iron skillet with house made salted caramel and vanilla bean ice cream
Sesame crusted ahi tuna over wasabi mashed potatoes and topped with a fresh mango salsa. Not fancy but it was very delicious
House-made bacon bourbon ice cream
Beer braised pork shank over cannellini beans and mirepoix with natural jus
Local greens with grapes, organic cherry tomatoes and candied walnuts
Mac-n-cheese with lardon and a pilsner cheese béchamel
Blackened ling cod, white cheddar grits, tomatillo sauce and a fried plantain
Armenian and lemon cucumber salad, cherry tomatoes, wild rocket, feta cheese and a mint vinaigrette
Cider brined, slow roasted Carlton Farms pork belly, carrot puree, jicama salad and Inca red drop peppers
Pan seared snapper, over yukon gold mashed, romesco and pesto sauces with sprouts
A Way of Life farms heirloom tomato bruschetta, micro sprouts, goat cheese, balsamic reduction
Liberty Farms duck confit, peach compote, frisee
char sui pork ribs, wasabi mash, broccoli rabe
Mediterranean spiced pan seared salmon, orzo arugula salad, tatziki
Slow braised pork shank, lentils, greens, demi glace
Pan seared true cod, curry, cauliflower, local cherry tomatoes, cilantro
Pan seared halibut, parmesan polenta, herb oil
Cider brined pork chop, cheddar-scallion potato cake, caramelized brussels sprouts, bacon and an ale-mustard sauce
Just some light reading
Tales From an Urban Chef 